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he said he'd wait for him

Writer's picture: thegaytedcthegaytedc

Updated: May 28, 2020

The intelligence of a rocket scientist isn’t needed for someone to learn and understand that most present-day relationships run parallel with a product labeled with an expiration date. Just as a tomato in the produce section of a farmers market patiently waits for its potential consumer to come and pick it for purchase and be taken for the satisfaction of delivering indulgence for its patron. Sitting in a bed of its peers appearing to be the most ripe amongst its neighbors. Neglecting to accept the need for inspection and expecting to be sought as if it were the last for sale. Shoppers continue to walk up to it and pick the other tomatos around it, above and underneath. Patience turns into frustration because the more time that it sits idle, the deeper the epiphany and the recollection of traumatic emotional distress begin to surface. Memories of how its’ last relationship came to an abrupt end when the farmer that it’d grown with gave it away just at things had blossomed between the two.


With each day that passed, the stronger the attachment came, and as strong as it’d come was as hard as it’d broken. Too hurt to feel anything else and too confused to understand anything more, this was all a part of the plan. The farmer intentionally nourished the tomato with the essentials of life needed to be strong and healthy for that grocer who would walk into its’ life to pick up where the farmer left off. But it’s the agony that compromises the ability to see how bright tomorrow could be because the intervention of misery has it trying to figure out a way to light yesterdays darkness. One day, he’s chosen and it’s sooner than later that yesterday begins to feel like tomorrow. But unbeknownst to the oblivious tomato, it’s later than sooner that it’ll find itself in another ambivalent state after the grocer cares for it as the farmer did – until it’s annihilated, this time being in more of a permanent state. Relationships are purposeful but cyclical and it doesn’t matter the reason is for whom or whatever, rather it’s to be a learning experience, to bring seasonal joviality or to grow old until death do you part - they all have an expiration date.


To try to extend or prolong what’s not meant to be past its period of expiration is like have a novel with 13 chapters and rereading the last paragraph of the 8th chapter when you have so many more pages to read. Life is a colorful page turner and the beautiful thing about it is that we have the power to become authors and flip our own pages at our own discretion. Granted, we may not be able to go back and revise previous chapters but we can make sure that those particular revisions never have to be written again or we can make sure that they’re noted as often as we’d like. I have a friend that was in somewhat of a tumultuous relationship with his boyfriend, or lack thereof. They’ve known each other for a little more than two years and they’ve dated for the majority of that two year period, and in the land of homosexuality, two years is like twenty. For the sake of confidentiality, I’ll refer to them as Josh and Tyler. Josh and I are good friends. He and I have a bit of an intimate past. We dated a few years ago for less than a year. My personality at the time forced to me to push our expiration date up a few months because although I was deeply in love with him, I just couldn’t deal. Moving forward, a couple of years after we split he moved to Los Angeles to pursue his modeling career. Of course I stayed behind in Atlanta with the new love of my life. About three years later, my life would coincidentally relocate me to LA as well.


Knowing close to none in this marginal foreign new land that I’ve learned to call “home”, I reached out to him if it were for nothing more than to have a familiar face play tour guide. The more we hangout, the more he begins to open up to me about his relationship with Tyler. At first, I asked no questions and just listened to him tell me how he’s unfaithful to Tyler and has been for quite some time. But the more I listened, the more curious my mind became and began to churn like the components inside of a wall clock. Josh was under the impression that Tyler had no idea of the intimacy that was orchestrated right under his nose. So I asked Josh, “Exactly how many other guys have you slept with?” He simply answers, “A few.” I’m just like ‘wow! – are you still in love with him? do you still love him? or…?’ Josh tells me that no, he’s not in love with him but yes, he still loves him, and Tyler has no idea that he’s cheating on him. One day while at work, Josh catches the eye of a new employee (Chris) that was just transferred from another branch of his job, and after about a week or so, numbers were exchanged and so were seminal fluids. Josh and Chris quickly developed a casual sexual relationship. Josh and Chris would meet at Chris’s place, sometimes at Josh and Tyler’s place (who live together), have sex and if Josh wasn’t rushing Chris out of the front door before Tyler came home from work, then he was leaving Chris’s place to go home to Tyler as if nothing ever happened. This went on for a few months but naturally, Chris began developing feelings for Josh. At least until Josh told him that he and Tyler weren’t the only guys that he was fucking.


Remember when I asked Josh how many guys he’d been sleeping with behind Tyler’s back and he answered “a few”, well it’s safe to say it wasn’t one at a time. He’d learned how to juggle and balance his infidelities quite favorably; total opposite person from the guy that I’d once been in love with many years ago.


-kp

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thegaytedc
thegaytedc
May 31, 2020

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and give feedback. 🙂 My intention here isn’t to influence anyone to give up on finding love or persuade them to condemn and resist the union of monogamous companionship. Everyone’s story is different and I encourage everyone to write their own. One day, maybe I’ll read yours and it’ll reignite the hopeless romantic with me. -kp

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mike12equus
May 31, 2020

Woow! This was quite a post. In reading this, My hesitation to enter another relationship only deepens. I hear so much about how many people are stepping out on their significant other, it’s RIDICULOUS. At my former employer, some of the men would freely admit to cheating on their wives, and had no intentions to stop in sight. All of this really makes me question the next potential’s motives, morals, And authenticity. ☹️

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