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the eye

Writer's picture: thegaytedcthegaytedc

Updated: May 29, 2020


The indicative sense that aides in the transmission of cerebral composition by internalizing obvious imagery. Not everyone has the ability to utilize their eyesight. Blessing or curse? Two people can look at one thing and when they’re asked what they see, three different answers can be given with none of them being the same. Difference of opinion can be fascinatingly radical. This is the beauty of interpretation. When we look, it’s deemed a natural act by nature. But what happens when you look at something and the reception is invisible by another; when the next person doesn’t see what your cognition has convinced you to be apparent? In a scenario as such, is there really a right person in the wrong?

I’m confidently aware of who I am as a person but it’s more than often that I stand in front of the mirror and gaze into it, fixated on what I wish I didn’t see. Thoughts begin to gradually circulate the organ between my ears like a school of air vultures calculating their attack. I become overwhelmed in the disbelief of spoken praises that others showered upon me in the past, finding myself lost in a convoluted search of the ego that was stroked at inception - replacing compliments with criticism and converting contentment to self-inflicting resentment. I follow the blank stare into the deep pockets of my internal exterior and it brings me to a place where ambivalence extinguishes oxygen, substituting as the primary diatomic gas. I’m frustrated with confusion because I’ve allowed myself to fall victim of persuasion, believing those beautiful remarks that enabled the enhancement of self-confidence; stricken with feelings of self-betrayal and contradiction, questioning my sanity because it was at one point that I saw what they saw and the more I stare the harder I strive to scratch so much as the tip of dissipated recollection that once quilted and comforted me from within. Maybe I knew this all along. Maybe I never saw what they see when they look at me but only pretended to because it felt better than settling with reality. But why would they manipulate innocence and construct such psychological slander and emotional torture?

Struggling with achieving perfection is a struggle within itself. With exhausting strategic endeavors, you attempt to exemplify the impossible: merging - who you are, what’s accepted by others and satisfying society’s evolution with antagonistic compliance. The collaboration is attained at seldom, but with enough practice they say perfection is reached.

Sometimes I look at myself and I don’t know who I see. Sometimes I see someone who’s presumptuous and soaked in self-reliance; he feels genetically favored and comfortable within his skin; he walks with his head held in a position making it physically impossible to look below. Contrarily, with those same pair of eyes distraction situates behind my iris and creates the disillusionment of a complete makeup of imperfections. My self-admiration becomes compromised and my personality is taken over by a vapid force that leaves me kidnapped by reclusion. Manipulating the mind during a period of skepticism to maintain the positive streamline of thoughts that were once breathing proves to be an impairment of judgment. People believe what they see because sight is presumed to be the most natural form of proof. But should you believe what you see even though it may be an illusion?

If the blind are cursed, then the curse may just be infused with an insurmountable blessing.


-kp


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